Tweets

    bettydays:

    I have a story.

    So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

    image

    When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

    And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

    He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

    All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

    (Source: toocooltobehipster)

    rawhumor:

    Follow this blog to receive the funniest posts on your dashboard!

    (Source: rachel-actually)

    sexhaver:

    juicyjacqulyn:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    scientists could scour the arctic for decades and never find anything colder than this

    (Source: baddaysequence)

    (Source: amillionmiless.com)

    kushandwizdom:

    The international bestseller Love & Misadventure by Lang Leav is available from all major bookstores and online via AmazonBN.com + The Book Depository

    (Source: facebook.com)

    hotboyproblems:

    Turn offs: private instagrams


    (Source: kitaphatun)


    thisisbluelanguage:

    veggielezzyfemmie:

    The regular girl couldn’t make it, so I’m here.

    miss claudette has a special place in my heart. 

    miss claudette over everything 

    (Source: quatres)

    (Source: sirilaf)

    spikespiegell:

    do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”


    (Source: pinkmanjesse)

    subwaywhore:

    this is the most adorable thing i have ever seen kms

    (Source: johnskele)

    rawhumor:

    Follow this blog to receive the funniest posts on your dashboard!

    (Source: gaypos)


    (Source: thingsilearnedfromsatc)